Friday Feels: What You Allow is What Will Continue
If you’re around me long enough you’re likely to hear me say something that goes like: “But what do I know? I’m just a music major from Dallas, Texas!”
(Usually with a strong southern drawl that I unlearned when I moved to New York decades ago, now re-awakened for dramatic effect.)
In a moment of pure confession, if you hear me say that it’s usually because I’m feeling quite intimidated in the moment and hanging a lantern on what I sometimes feel is a weakness.
It’s something that still gives me imposter syndrome.
I didn’t have a traditional business educational experience that so many others did. It can be very intimidating when your actual job is to advise leaders who have such a wealth of formal training and knowledge!
I learned about sum-zero accounting, performance management philosophy, agile business practices, supply & demand theory, statistically relevant analysis, etc. all on the job. Through asking a ton of questions and picking up little nuggets along the way.
So there I was, about 12 years ago now, sitting in my mentor’s office and talking through a problem.
I was frustrated with a particular situation and people’s behavior. In short, they were resistant to change.
She looked at me, shrugged, and then said — “What you allow is what will continue.”
And it felt like I had run headfirst into a wall.
So simple.
And on reflection, so true.
I immediately filed it away in my “Music Major Business Education” file and started integrating it into my work.
It has served me incredibly well as I fashioned an overarching focus in my work throughout the intervening decades on leading organizational change.
So fast-forward to this week and all the people leaders in my org came together to build community and learn about each other — it was a brilliant time that still has me buzzing.
One question we were asked is to share the best piece of advice we had received.
This was hard for me — cause I’ve gotten a lot of advice and feedback in my journey — but immediately my mind sprung to all the times that simple line has served me well so I shared it with the group — “What you allow is what will continue.”
But let’s dissect that a bit. (Who knows, maybe it will help you, too.)
They say “Past is Prologue” and I think there’s wisdom in that as it relates to what we allow being what will continue.
We cannot control the past — it’s already happened and it’s in the books. I hate looking backward and struggle to find the value in reliving my mistakes.
We also cannot know what will come in the future. Living through 2020, 2021 and now 2022 should have cemented this concept that literally anything can happen.
Now, that may leave you feeling hopeless that you can’t change the past and you cannot predict the future.
But I find it freeing. I’m not in charge of either of those two things.
My power lies in shaping my present.
When I’m fully present, using every interaction and exchange to the best of my ability, then I get the agency to change the past and the future.
Or better put like this…
The past is nothing but moments that were once in my present.
The future will be my present when it arrives.
So in a way, I get to shape my past and guide my future only by putting my energy completely on what I will allow to continue in my present.
By focusing on what I allow in this particular moment — my mindset, my behaviors, my interactions with others, how I’m treated, how I engage, the behaviors I’m willing to tolerate in others — then I get to have full agency over my past, present and future.
There is immense power and energy in this perspective.
How would our future’s change if we consciously lived in this way, worked in this way, connected with others in this way?
I think we’d see endless possibilities all around us — a field of present moments we get to use to shape where we go from here.
And with that ability to shape the future, who knows, maybe even music majors from Dallas, Texas can help build Meta!
Take care of each other, mi gente!
JM
#fridayfeels
